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Acceptance & Tolerance

02 Apr 2009

Acceptance doesn’t have to mean resignation. Acceptance is having an understanding that the world is not for us to control. Acceptance is simply, a choice – to control one’s own responses to events outside of one’s control.   Acceptance brings strength and energy, to create a new life.

Tolerance of others and the world around us, comes from tolerance of self.  When you are content and at peace with yourself – you are at peace with the world.  Tolerance is choosing what you pay attention to and how you want to respond, that is true to yourself.

What is your experience of acceptance & tolerance?

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finding your flow

30 Mar 2009

When you ‘find your flow’, you are totally involved in a particular activity that requires you becoming the activity – no separation. When you are fulfilling your unique purpose, you experience a sense of ‘flow’ as this is your ‘path of least resistance’. More on ‘flow’: being ‘in flow’ is when you are focused, concentrating on the task or activity and doing it for it’s own sake – just because you love it!  You experience ecstasy, serenity, intrinsic motivation and inner-clarity, where your skills match the task. It is having a sense of timelessness, forgetting your self and feeling part of something larger. What energises us when we are ‘in flow’? It’s our passion and instincts. What’s your experience of ‘finding your unique purpose’ or ‘being in flow’?

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What season is your business in?

25 Mar 2009

I love autumn – you can feel the freshness in the air and at the same time, enjoy the sun as it’s not too hot – it’s a lovely time of year. So how can we liken business to nature’s rhythms and cycles?
I discovered this interesting analogy in the book I am reading at the moment: “Your Life Your Legacy” by Roger Hamilton. He says you become aware of the current season, by knowing what season your business has just passed through. If you have a great product that has proven itself in the market, you are out of spring and into summer – focussing on building your market. If you have many new customers and sales are coming easily, you are out of spring and into autumn – focussing on servicing your customers well. If your customers are happy and your staff settled, you are out of autumn and into winter – focussing on building the right systems for the next spring.
Roger warns that you can hold on to a winning formula too long, so go with the seasons!  “Never cut a tree down in the wintertime.  Never make a negative decision in the low time. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come” Robert Schuller
I also like the quote from the movie “Being There” starring Peter Sellers when he speaks about his garden, growth and seasons: “so long as the roots are not severed, all will be well in the garden and there will be growth in the spring”.
How are the ‘roots’ of your business? Are they in tact? What nurtures and supports growth for you and your business?

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Do you have difficulty trusting others?

23 Mar 2009

I hear people say, they have difficulty trusting others.  You can only trust others once you trust yourself.  “Aahh” I hear you say “THIS is what’s difficult”.  Trusting yourself involves knowing ‘who you are and what you want’.  When you ‘hold on to yourself’ you can confidently go into the world and not lose yourself to someone or something else.  It’s tuning-in to your own inner-wisdom / intuition and trusting what your ‘gut’ tells you – it’s there to serve you and will never let you down.  Let this be your guide in trusting others and the world around you.

I’d be interested to hear your thoughts or experience of ‘trust’.

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You CAN change the past

17 Mar 2009

You hear people say “you can’t change the past” – that may be true, but you can change the way you perceive the past.  “It’s your story that keeps you where you are” so if you change your story, doesn’t this change the way you see the past?  If you change your story of the past to one that’s based on the benefit of hindsight (viewing it from an objective perspective based on who you are now rather than the person you used to be), doesn’t this free you up to respond to your past in a way that serves you now and in the future, rather than keeping you where you’ve been?   What do YOU think?  It’s great to get to a point where ‘the past ceases to exist’ and you experience true freedom.  To my surprise, I have come to experience this recently.   What’s your experience?

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Are you experiencing conflict?

14 Mar 2009

We need to understand the nature of conflict and our own personal relationship with conflict for self-management in challenging situations or when dealing with difficult behaviours.

When people feel their security, significance or identity is being threatened, they tend to react: the ratio being 80% emotion & 20% facts.

People make assumptions based on their own beliefs, perceptions and how they define a situation (definitions lead to assumptions which have meaning).

What is the person attempting to achieve? (motivation)

What do they want, as their ‘end result’? (intention)

Common methods of resolving conflict: Avoiding, Fixing, Compromising, Confronting, or Running Away, will not help you achieve a ‘true end result’.

Relate to the person, rather than the behaviour – keep them separate.

Separate the feelings from the facts, the subjective from the objective.

Keep your own reactions separate to theirs by taking responsibility for your own feelings and behaviour. Be aware of your own relationship with conflict.

Make it about the true end result, rather than you (what you are thinking or feeling at the time) or the other party (their emotional behaviour). In this way, you can be an effective facilitator – transcending your own as well as other’s reaction, to re-focus on a shared end result, i.e. – the best possible outcome in this situation. Be aware that when others are in reaction, it is easy for you to go into reaction (unless you keep your focus on what you want).

People have a right to express their opinion.

There is no need to argue, judge others or defend your position.

Listen with an open mind rather than jump to conclusions.

Respect the other person as well as yourself.

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your life your legacy

13 Mar 2009

I’m reading a very interesting book at the moment, by Roger Hamilton –“Your Life Your Legacy” An Entrepreneur’s Guide to Finding your Flow.  I’ve been really interested in the meaning of ‘flow’ recently – speaking about it to others and finding out what it means for them.  For me, when I’m totally involved in something that I love to, I feel ‘at one’ with it – no separation.  I love the feeling of being so absorbed with what I’m doing, I lose track of time and seem to be quite unaware of what’s going on around me.  Being ‘in flow’ is also when your skills match the challenges and it feels like ‘you’re on a roll’ and nothing can get in your way!

I’d be interested in hearing about your experience of ‘being in flow’

Also – what’s the legacy that YOU want to leave behind in the world?

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metaphor for your business

13 Mar 2009

I recently conducted a ’10-minute spot’ to help business owners discover a metaphor for their business.  I asked people “what’s an activity that you dive into with utter abaondment?”  In other words, “what do you love to do that you ‘lose’ yourself in the activity” (like ‘finding your flow’ in the blog above: ‘your life your legacy’)?  Write it down and list some reasons as to why you enjoy this activity so much and how it benefits you.  Now apply it to your business – “A metaphor for my business is…………….”.  For me, the metaphor is ‘art’ which applies particularly when I’m coaching – I feel connected to my creativity, intuition and intellect – it uses all of me.  So what’s a metaphor for your business and why? 

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I want I have

12 Mar 2009

Here’s a little exercise that will blow your mind!

Write “I want” at the top of a blank page and list all the things you want underneath.

Now change “I want” to “I have” and read each one as if you already have it.

Let me know what you discover!

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are you wealthy?

12 Mar 2009

I’ve had some interesting discussions with people lately, about money and wealth.  It’s amazing that many people don’t really value money – do you?  Money is a bit like time – how we use our money shows what we value, ie: what’s important to us.  What about wealth – what do you think ‘being wealthy’ is?  In Roger Hamilton‘s book: Your Life Your Legacy, he defines wealth as “what you’re left with when you lose all your money”.  I certainly don’t have a lot of money but I do consider myself wealthy due to enjoying a rich life, having a sense of well-being and abundance.  

“A man’s true wealth is the good he does in this world” Mohammed

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